A bitch, a witch, a stud, a fiancee, and a DJ...

From Chapter 1, Page 12:

Thrown back to reality from the magic wonderland Todd’s music had momentarily transported me to, I took in my surroundings…observed the cast of characters of my life.

Michelle – 19. Long legs. Big boobs. Waist-length hair. Bad breath. A girl who thought being a bit of a bitch gave her character and mystery…instead, these qualities just made her a bigger bitch. But she was a nice bitch. Sometimes.

Betty – 51. She was Mother Earth living in a trailer park on the outskirts of town. She looked like the one-eyed crone from that movie The Dark Crystal. But oh! The beauty and light her ugly appearance hid, making her one of the most breathtaking women I knew. Life had hit her hard (a husband who came out gay fifteen years and 2 kids into their marriage, drinking, smoking, a bad work record, even worse credit) but she was one of the most intelligent and charming people on the planet.

Roger – 22. An All-American stud. Michelle’s brother and Betty’s oldest child. The man of the house who had left Kansas for Colorado Springs and the wonders of the Air Force Academy. Michelle once told me her father had a huge cock and her brother inherited it. (I never asked the creepy question on how Michelle knew the length and girth of not one, but two male members of her family.)

Lori – 22. Pretty. Blonde. Petite. Roger’s fiancée.

And now Todd Christopher had entered the equation. The DJ. I quickly learned he was 23, had gone to high school with Roger, and was going to be the best man in the upcoming December wedding. He also had a past.

Trailer Park Passion

From Chapter One, Page 11

Oh my gosh, what was happening in this trailer park tonight? I thought I would just hear tales of what the Air Force Academy was like from Michelle’s brother, and instead I was about to start drinking and give a college thesis on why the incestuous horror novels of VC Andrews were some of the most important literary works this country had ever known. All in the company of Todd Christopher. A name that was the best name in the history of names.

“Don’t be embarrassed to have a dream, Joseph.” Todd said when he returned with drinks for everyone.

“Here, here! I’ll drink to that!” Betty lifted her glass.

Todd toasted his glass with mine. “I have a dream, too.”

“Really?” I winced after sipping the drink – it was strong! But I wanted to look cool so I quickly swallowed and did everything in my power not to cough.

Todd stared at me – amused. He seemed as curious with me as I was with him. (Or was that just me hoping he was?)

“So what’s your dream, Todd?” I asked.

Todd winked and reached into the leather bag at his feet. He pulled out a tape player and a very sophisticated-looking set of headphones. He took the glass out of my hands and suddenly moved behind me. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck as he slowly slid the headphones over my ears.

I was distracted by the awareness that one of his hands was still on the headphones. A hand that was five inches away from my lips. A hand that was seventeen inches away from my chest. Twenty seven inches away from my belly button. Thirty inches away from my…

Todd whispered: “Close your eyes, Joseph. And listen to my dream.”

The music started… and I suddenly knew then that God was cool. How else could you explain this music – this dance-infected, heart-lifting, joy-riding music – that was being pumped into my ears? It made me feel alive – the music was in synch with the beat of my heart. Surely God had used this music for inspiration during the six days it took to create the world.

Six days. I wondered what Todd and I could do if we had six days to do whatever we wanted. Just him and me…and his music.

Adults-Only Monopoly

From Chapter One, Page 9:

The instant I met Todd Christopher, the entire world turned into an adults-only zone. Just like that, life went from Candyland to a very high stakes game of Monopoly. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. You are now officially in love.

His eyes sent an emotional bolt through my brain so strong that I was suddenly aware of every nerve ending in my body – from the obvious ones in the head of my penis to unknown sensation centers behind my ears.

Is this how Adam felt when he saw Eve for the first time after eating that apple? Nervous and ashamed and scared…yet also aroused with the knowledge that the world suddenly had secrets. Secrets that were meant to be unlocked, discovered, and devoured.

Suddenly – my body was the biggest secret at all. What else could it be used for? To even imagine that it was possible that this body could be used for things besides just eating and walking and sitting and sleeping…why, the urge to find out just what all these “uses” were overwhelmed me!

And the man who I suddenly knew had the answers to these questions was sitting before me now. He was masculine and intoxicatingly male and mysterious and dangerous and wore glasses. Not the nerdy kind. These glasses made him mysterious, not bookish. Already I knew the intelligence his brain harbored was the kind you wouldn’t find in books. At least, not the kinds of books my mother would approve of me reading.